Didn’t get much sleep which is no surprise. My mind tried to make sense of my reality while I was simply trying to dream. I failed miserably.
As I recall last night’s behavior of unfollowing certain Instagram accounts, I came to a realization that I may have lived in an illusion, and not something sustainable.
Maybe it was a high and I was close to overdosing from too much “multidimensional perfectionism.” It’s a term I just read about this morning explaining how we millennials seek therapy more often than other generations simply because we crash at the thought of falling short of our high expectations.
I can agree to that notion, where I think I was too focused on how to perfect this thought of us and everything that embodies that as a couple. But now that that’s gone, I’m in withdrawal mode.
I mentioned yesterday that he and I both need to fill our cups. I need to start with filling my void. A void that I tried to have him fill, but it wasn’t his to fill in the first place.
I’ve got a long journey ahead. Lots of reading, reflection, and then sharing.
All this time, I wanted to create a space where I can share what I learned and get his insights, wisdom, and reactions. Little did I know, I had the medium to do it all along.
It’s nice to step back and see the void. Let’s see what comes of it and see where I’ll be when I do fill that void.
You ready for the journey? Glad you are, but I need to get some sleep first.