Pretty Woman

[Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian
Vivian: Tell me one person who it’s worked out for. 
Kit: What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, God, the pressure of a name… I got it. Cindafuckin’rella 

Vivian: I’m gonna treat you so nice, you’re never gonna let me go. 

Vivian: You’re late. 
Edward Lewis: You’re stunning. 
Vivian: You’re forgiven. 

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it. 
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman. 
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that? 

blah… so one thing that frustrates me about this movie right now… is that even a hooker can make somethin’ out of love..and I can’t.  blah… to say the truth, I’m not thinking about gettin’ back w/steve right now.  Sure, it’d be great to get back w/him maybe later on, like..hmm…september maybe.  But right now, not really.  but… I miss his kisses, hugs, holdin’ hands, sleepin’ next to him, snugglin’.  It’s kinda sad I know.  but I can’t help it.  He was ALWAYS w/me…at least when I wanted him to be.  now, he’s not.  I know its better for the both of us not to see each other right now…I know that…but its really hard.  ugh.  so yeah…I guess the only person it works for is cinderella.  and frankly, i’m no cinderella.  It works for a hooker as well, but i’m not a hooker either.  I’m just Lisa, and I guess that isn’t good enough.  

Feelings

empiezo a pensar
pienso lo q vas a decir
pienso lo q vas a sentir
pienso como vas a ver
ya no quiero pensar

empiezo a mirar
miro el e-mail que no mandaste
miro la lista si estas online
miro si hay movimiento de hablar conmigo 
pero ya no quiero mirar 

lo que no veo, lo que si veo,
lo que no oigo, lo que si oigo,
lo que tu me dices, no te entiendo 
lo que yo te digo, no le entiendes

no tengo el menor idea de si 
somos paralelos o juntados 
no tengo ni idea 
y no me importa 

ya equis.  
no tengo ganas de pelear contigo.
no tengo ganas de llorar otra vez. 
ya parate de hacerme llorar.

enough is enough.
STOP

– A bunch going on…and some quotes that expresses it –

Shel Silverstein writes:

“I will not play tug o’ war. I’d rather play hug o’ war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.”

“”All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas 
Layin’ In The Sun, 
Talkin’ ‘Bout The Things 
They Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done… 
But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas 
All Ran Away And Hid 
From One Little Did.””

“”There Is A Voice Inside Of You 
That Whispers All Day Long, 
“I Feel That This Is Right For Me, 
I Know That This Is Wrong.” 
No Teacher, Preacher, Parent, Friend 
Or Wise Man Can Decide 
What’s Right For You- Just Listen To 
The Voice That Speaks Inside.””

“Tell me I’m clever, Tell me I’m kind, Tell me I’m talented, Tell me I’m cute, Tell me I’m sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I’m perfect– But tell me the truth.”
The context is different, but I think these quotes from his poems says something that I’ve had in my mind just now.  The idea of tug-o-war, and being truthful. 

Fun Game

-Fun- by Taeko Saito

boys are fun. 
they are like video games. 
you have to have a certain tactic for each of them
and you can’t really play the same game for longer than a certain amount of time.
unless youre really into the game.
some games take longer to beat.
others are easier.
some games are fun to play little by little.
some games you just get into it so much
that you play for the first three days nonstop 
but later on you kinda get bored.
once you beat the game, 
some games you just dont ever wanna play again.
but other games, 
you wanna play over and over and over again.
i wanna find that game 🙂

so, I liked this poem, and I just wanted to say, I already found that game, and I enjoy every minute of it.

Helpless *4*

immediate call
shattered line
voiceless tone

confuzzled questions
blurred minds
drowning emotions 

volcanic tear drops
guilt trips mind bottling 

I feel helpless 
I can’t do anything 

all I can do is
hold your hand
kiss away sorrows 
embrace your emotions 

that’s all I can do 
and that’s all I will do 
cuz its not my place to say anything 

all I can do 
is be silent 
hold your hand
kiss away sorrows 
embrace your emotions 
and be there for you 

*R.I.P Zac, Steve’s tomodachi Feb. 3, 2004*

・・・夢・・・

「夢って言うのは両刃の剣(もろはのつるぎ),抱く夢が大きければ大きいほどかなわなかった時の傷は深くなる。だから多くの人間は、自分に重すぎる 夢は、最初から抱かない。そして、また、多くの人間は、一度つまずくと、そこで夢を投げ出してしまう。 それ以上傷つくのが怖いからね。やむを得ず、夢を 手放す人もいる。誰だって、いつまでも自由気なままに生きていけるわけじゃあないからね。周りの人のことや、生活のこと、将来のこと。 大人になるにつれ てそういう物のことが見えてきて・・・それで夢をあきらめ、手の届く現実に、自分を合わせて生きていくいく者も多い。 だけどね、世の中にはそれが出来な い人間もごくわずかいるんだよ。 自分の心をごまかして現実に合わせることが出来ない不器用な人間。子供のときのままの純な心をいつまでも捨てられない人 間が・・・」

~ティーンエイジ・ブルー 折原みと~

・・・愛し君へ・・・

このごろなんとなくどんな本を読んでも、どんな時に歩いてもやけに君の名前が出てくる。 どうしてだろうと思い、戸惑うことが多い。 でも、やっぱ り、理由はほんと“信じるのには賞味期限がない”と言うことだ。 このままどうあれ、どういう方向に行くのはもちろんわからないけれど、信じ続けていいん だよね? っていうか、もちろん私の中では信じ続ける。 それが私なりの愛し方だから。 人がどうこう言っても、やっぱり、一度起こった事は白紙には戻せ ない。 だからこそ、賞味期限はないんだよ。 君はどう思うのかな? その答えは最後までには見えるのだろうか? もちろん君と明日を見たいと思うけど、 それが出来なければ過去を見ることはもちろん出来る。 いろんなものを見せてくれてありがとう。

Drive Thru

get on the back 
lets drive thru
you and me 
no worries no tracks

no speeding
no stopping
no reversing
no crashing

screw paying debts
no orders needed
lets just drive thru

no rules 
no signs
no maps
no compass

just you and me 
just the road and the car

get behind the wheels
for a memorable journey

The Hole

leave me in the middle
to solve your issues
i’ll look both ways
and guard you from the hole

don’t look in too close 
you might fall 
I won’t put no warning sign
I don’t have much time at all 

but if you do make your choice
dont let the hole know
for the hole doesn’t want to know 
for its just a hole 

one thing to make clear
don’t you dare blame the hole
for leaning in too close 
and falling in 

for the hole didn’t say anything
it simply warned you 
and you took your chances 
to fall into the hole

writing it all out

so I’ve been having some problems with certain issues and instead of talking it out, I’ve decided to write it all out.  If you want to comment on it that’s fine, if not, well that’s cool too as long as I get it off my chest. 

– A Tribute to a Friend-
    The spill of chaos, glass pieces everywhere. Water running down, a shattered reflection of an unknown being. Liquid drops along the surface, flowing as if it knows where to head. Myriad of glass screaming out color and opinions. Taking a piece of this glass, it cuts open a fresh life. Again, it screams out opinionated expressions. Blood, goriness, happiness, worry, doubt, predictions, past, fresh start, future. Subsequently, liquid flows out. High viscosity, gooey, self inflicted pain or accidental? No answer needed, it’s simply a wound. A flow of opinion, an open door for a market places of ideas. Selling an image, selling self. Percieved as unique, seen as freak. Colors added to enhance a vision. Remembrance, a legacy. To make a point. A warning, a side-note, a mistake. What’s done is done. Ultimately, the door needs to be closed. The opinion that really matters is hers, and hers only. Now leave her be before her glassball shatters.

– Listen –
    pain
    ice
    stab
    ice-pick
    sharp
    urge
    explode
    anger
    signs
    signals
    symptoms
    cure
    help
    warm
    ease 

– Trust –
    Your fondle care,
    Your fondle laughter,
    Joking comments, serious kindness,
    Endless teasing, ultimate funness. 

    Can I trust you, if I let go? 
    Would you flip things over…
    Would I change views…
    Would situation change…
    … if I let go? 

    Your fondle care, 
    Your fondle laughter, 
    Joking comments, serious kindness, 
    Endless teasing, ultimate funness. 

    There’d be a change, 
    in all its meaning, 
    wouldn’t it…
    …if I let go. 

    Don’t get me wrong, 
    My fondle care, 
    My fondle laughter, 
    My joking comments, my serious kindness, 
    My endless teasing, and my ultimate funness, 
    may change as well. 

    but can I trust you, if I let go? 
    Can I trust myself, if you let go? 

    Who do I trust? 

    Nobody: Just let it go. 

Ok, well that’s done with and I guess I feel a little better now. 

  • Current Mood:  pensive
  • One anonymous comment left: 

(Anonymous) 
Jun. 11th, 2004 08:51 pm (local)lisa, i think it’s ok to care about the girl. it’s really showing your true kindness. maybe you had her as a best friend when you were young and you didn’t get along too well lately but you still care about her. that’s not something many people can do,like what kenji said. because you’re a caring person, because you know her and because you in a way want to help her, i think it’s worrying you. and that’s a a sunao na personality and i think it’s wonderful to have that. just use that feeling to show her that you care for her. drop her a line or two. just let her know that there are people that cares about her. don’t be frustrated, just be the friend that she needs. from what i hear from you, it sounds like she is yelling silently for help.