I’ve been reading about adolescence problems lately, for my UH 350 project, and I came upon the theme of sex.  The stuff i’ve been reading is how young teenage girls, ages 13 and 14 already having sex and questioning when to have sex, the definition of sex, and defining relationships.  That made me wonder a bit.  I’m not bringing in any opinions or anything, but in the book it mentioned how would you define a relationship?  What is sex?  Lately, sex is defined as a status quo or even a pressure point, where u feel like you need to have sex to conform to others, or to your relationship.  

My friend from childhood, who I’ve always admired, went out w/her bf for 4.5 years.  They were great, from my eyes.  but I just heard that they broke up, and the reason was simply because they’ve been together for so long.  That made me think.  What makes an individual want to keep a relationship?  Is it all about the physical interaction? Is it knowing that someone else loves you and isn’t scared to say it straight out?  My friend wanted to know what was up with my life, and I had just talked to steve, so I told her I was talking to my novio, and she asked, why?  Why do you have a boyfriend?  

That kinda made me wonder.  Why do I, or you, need a significant other and strive for it to keep it up?  Is it just an emotional growth that I want to experience?  With college coming to an end in 2 more years, I start to think about these questions.  I want nothing more than to keep this relation with steve, but on the other hand, if I could keep up knowing he loves me back, then do we really need to be in a relationship to feel that way?  I guess then, it changes into a different kind of love.  

I start to wonder if we never had sex, if things would’ve been different.  Would our relationship last longer? ended shorter? remained as a simple relationship?  I wonder what sex is to him.  I really do.  To me, it’s a fun activity to be able to share with him.  I think it develops our relation stronger, but on the other hand, I wonder if that’s the only reason he wants to be w/me.  I start to question whether sex really does make our relation stronger, or does it simply make it impossible to let go because of the physical interaction.  I could probably say it now, but I don’t mind going back to simply going through the small make out sessions.  Sex seems so obvious now that we got into it, but truthfully, I don’t mind going back to the “simple” stages of our relationship.  It’s not that I don’t like the sex.  It’s just I don’t want this relationship to be held on simply because of the physical interaction.  I feel more than that.  or at least I want to feel more from it.  The physical interaction is like the cherry on top.  It doesn’t really have to be there, but if it is, great.  

so I ask again, what’s a relationship?  what’s the definition of sex? why do people have sex? why do people long for a signficant other?